When you’re short, life can be difficult. You may think it’s sweet, being short; after all, short people are cute, right? Short people have a sense of humor, right? Short people are optimistic since they always have to look up, right?

Since I was 10 and looking forward to growing up (to no avail as it turns out), I have felt short. Always having to adjust the car seat, making sure there was a stepstool around just in case, not being able to walk as fast as the others, thus always falling behind. In my senior high school yearbook the caption read, “In the future Carol will model dresses for little grannies.” Cute. Right.

Some years back I worked with a woman who was 4 feet, 10 inches tall. Her daughter and son-in-law took her on vacation to the Grand Canyon (which makes everyone feel small). They rode burros down to the canyon floor. Burros are wide, wider than a horse, and so when my friend sat astride her burro, her legs stuck straight out. After riding like this for about an hour, they stopped to rest. When she was lifted off the burro she dropped to the ground because her legs had gone to sleep and she had to lie flat and even then it took another 20 minutes to be able to stand up. She always dressed nice, though.

If First Husband drives my car he has to adjust the seat, which means when I drive it I have to readjust the seat. One of life’s little irritations. I can’t reach the second shelf of my kitchen cabinets. I have to guess at what’s on the top shelf in my bedroom closet.

Oh – and I also can’t wear a hat. They look stupid on me. Which is a shame, because I love hats.

Randy Newman, one of my favorite songwriters, wrote a song about short people. “Short people got no reason to live,” was one of the lines. That’s a bit harsh. We DO have a reason to live, if only to make others feel tall and good about themselves.

On the other hand, we are happy to pick up things that have fallen, since we’re already closer to them. I pick things up all the time. You don’t see tall people doing that. We also find it easier to empty the dishwasher and clothes dryer. Life does have its compensations.

Right.